Saturday, May 26, 2007

Partial transcript from the Former Bible Writers' The Book Club meeting

Look at that! Another group of savvy cynicists is mocking us with a literal interpretation of our work, trying to make our gorgeous mashed collection of folk tales, parables and historical interpretation look ridiculous.

Literal? What, like, as in man named Noah rounds up a lion and a lioness and puts them on a boat with two zebras, where they live happily side by side through a torrential rainstorm?

Yes. House built on rock, house built on sand...

But no one would build a house on sand. That's what gives the story meaning.

I know. It's offensive.

No, wait. Look closer. They're not trying to make a point. They're serious.


Yeah. They've even got dinosaurs on the ark.


They're those big animals that lived a few million years before us.

But I don't get it. I never wrote about dinosaurs. Did you?

Not me. Did they read the bible?

I don't know. Maybe they were too busy building that museum. Admission is only $19.95. Let's disguise ourselves and go down there to take a closer look. I'll be the serpent and you can be the burning bush.


Thanks. Seriously, though, these people would be so fun to mess with if we could get down there.

Yeah, as if our first stop on Earth would be Kentucky.

Right, whatever. Let's just get back to this week's reading. Should we start with the first creation story or the second this time?

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